The Day of Reckoning

This evening, I am meeting with Johnny's potential leaser and the woman who currently has him in her possession. The potential leaser (PL) is going to give him a whirl and try him out. Normally, this would be good news, but now I don't know what to think since his current owner (CO) seems like she is wanting to maybe back out of the lease situation. I can understand to a degree because she is moving barns soon and is short on stalls, but now what do I tell this kid? That the lease fee suddenly doubled to something that I know he can't afford, even though all three of us had already agreed on a different price?

Over the holiday weekend I went home to see my parents and casually brought the subject up to my dad. For the second time, he completely nixed taking Johnny back. He makes a valid point...its not a financially smart situation to put myself in at this moment. I'm going to need a new car in a couple more years and I'm trying to start a life of my own without the support of my parents. Of course, he was a wonderful daddy and after seeing me freak out about my college debt and the lack of jobs in my industry right now, he took my college loans and paid them down monumentally...and is still paying on them as we speak. He made it perfectly clear over Thanksgiving that if I wanted to take Johnny back, that was my business, but he would no longer float me financially. Don't get me wrong, my dad doesn't wire money into my bank account or anything, but my cell phone is still on their family plan, my car is still registered in his name and my loan payments still come out of his checkbook. I understand his logic, that if he's going to try to help me out with some of the little things (cell phone, car, etc) its to help me save money and get ahead, not for me to spend all of my money on paying a second boarding bill on a 19 year old horse who needs foot injections. Never the less, I am heartbroken. Plain and simple.

I called J's old owner this morning and asked her if she wanted him back. That would be my ideal situation...for her to take him back and put him right back into the same field that I plucked him out of and I would never have to worry about his whereabouts or his well being ever again, I would just know that he was okay. Of course, that is never the case in how things really work. M told me what she's told me probably 3 times already, that she is trying to downsize her herd of horses, not add more. She did say that she would ask a few people that she knows might be interested. Ughhh.

I don't even know what to do anymore...I can't sleep at night because I'm tossing and turning and dreaming about calling people to find him a home. His CO keeps telling me that there isn't a huge rush to get him gone, but I know that she is moving barns in a couple of weeks and that deep down, she needs him gone by then. I've asked just about everyone that I know :-/

Standardbred friends of mine out there...would any of you like an absolutely amazing, perfect and wonderful horse? Even just for a little while?

I'll let you all know how the lease trial and conversation goes today.

Peace.Love.Ponies.